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Writer's pictureNatalie Buster

Is It Just Me?

I am filled with Rage these past few days. Rage is like Anger's younger and louder sister. Rage needs attention - Rage needs to be seen, to be felt, to be heard.


Rage has made herself known as I see and experience countless ways where the pandemic and all of its dangers are being basically ignored.


Example #1: My mammogram

I walked in to my mammogram clinic only to see a sign that told me masks were optional. I had a slight pause, but then proceeded. Surely people will be wearing masks at a MEDICAL FACILITY. Nope. Two older people sat in the lobby - sans mask. I also witnessed a technician without a mask on. I quietly pulled the office manager aside to state how uncomfortable I felt. "We don't require masks - we feel that's a personal choice." To which I replied, "I totally believe in personal choice, but unfortunately that means that I have to make the choice to leave." And so I did.


Example #2: My oncologist

I called my oncologist - a quixotic phone journey to try to talk to an actual human being. And although I didn't get to talk to her, her staff made it clear that they thought I was overreacting. "Dr. ---- just got her mammogram done at that location last week, she didn't see a problem." Yes, I replied, but what about people who live in immunocompromised homes? Can this oncologist please refer me to a clinic that does have a mask mandate in place? "We can't guarantee that any place will have a mask mandate." So the answer is no. Basically, the message I got was to get over it: put myself and my loved ones at risk or forgo the life-saving (in my case it was six years ago) screening. Nice.


Is it just me? Am I overreacting? Last I checked, people were still dying from COVID, yes? Breakthrough infections (including a group of ICU nurses at a holiday party) were still occurring despite people being triple vaccinated. A new variant has just been announced. Did I just dream all of that?


Is mask wearing just theatre? Just for show? To me, it signals to others that yes, I care about you and your health. It's an act of love. And especially in a medical facility, it's a way to reduce infection risk.


Am I going crazy?


This is why Rage has come to live with me for a while. I want to scream, yell, throw things against the wall.


Maybe this is my Grief manifesting in a new way. I can let my Anger (at my mom's passing, my sister's illness) express herself through her younger sister Rage.


What about you? What do you all think? I'd love to hear.


Is it just me?






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Amy Wolf
Amy Wolf
Jan 21, 2022

In IL masks are still mandated indoors. IA they are not but ALL medical facilities in both states require them and you won't be seen if you won't wear one. Business though don't push mask wearing in IL...they just won't argue with anyone but that was always the case. I do see about 80% of people wearing them though. IA different story...mostly no one wear them. I however wear one whenever I'm out in public and going into places. I did get covid though in the last few weeks, it was very mild for me and I'm immunocompromised and live with many that are. We all had it. Thankfully it was mild for us all. We are all vacci…

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lahrold
lahrold
Dec 08, 2021

You are not crazy, both buzz and I are totally in your corner on this, what nuttiness is going on with your health care. My take is the insurance companies have to step in-as insurance rates will be going up and people will be unhappy with rate hikes. too bad it is coming to money when it should be “treat your neighbor…” Love to you and think of you every day. xoxo Aunt Linda

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Natalie Buster
Natalie Buster
Dec 08, 2021
Replying to

Thank you, Linda and Buzz! Yes, Conrad and I were thinking that same thing. Stay safe. Love to you both.

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